Brandon and I are planning for me to start going back to college starting winter quarter, which starts in December. We have agreed that if I have continued to really work on losing weight and if we have the money (if all goes right with getting school loans, we should) we will start trying for baby number 2 in January. So, that's two reasons to start going back to school. lol Fall quarter starts in September, so I am hoping that by mid-September the college offices won't be too full and I will be able to make an appointment with someone to help me figure out all the financial help that is available for me to be back in school (Financial Aid, grants, scholarships, etc). I will also be needing to set up an appointment with a counselor to see what classes I still need to take/may need to take again since I haven't been in college for about 4 years (since i was 17), we will also be talking about if there is any childcare that the college will provide and if/what we would have to pay for that so that I might be able to attend day classes since I know a lot of the requirements are available for online classes. I am really hoping that this will work out. I think our marriage counseling has really helped to be able to push us in this direction. Brandon realized through counseling that life is not where I need it to be to be happy and to feel accomplished. Don't get me wrong. I love being a mom to Lily and I really appreciate being able to be a stay at home mom, but this is not at all where I thought my life would be at 21. I never planned on getting pregnant when I was 18 (though I didn't find out until a month and a half later, when I had turned 19). I didn't plan on living in Brandon's parents house for this long, though I am grateful that they do not live here and allow us to just pay half the mortgage while they live in a house two hours away that they are also buying. I also feel like I am stuck where I am in my relationships right now with other people. In school, I had friends. At work, I had friends. As a stay at home mom...I don't have many friends at all. Besides my husband I only have one person that I know is there for me. Majority of my friends work or don't have kids and don't understand that I can't just go out and party, and that it's not even in my list of interests to go out and drink to get drunk. I doubt it ever would of been. I have one stay at home mom friend. She doesn't do much staying at home, though. She's constantly busy. She has a lot of stay at home mom friends or friends that work the night shift. It's easier for her to have friends that are on the same path in life that she is, I believe, because she's in her early 30's and that's the general path of people that age, nowadays. I am going to try to find some new friends. Friends that are on a similar path as me. Friends that will be there to offer their support, not ones that I go to when I need a shoulder and they end up just changing the subject to all about them. I feel I'm always there for other people, and nobody is really there for me. Not even my side of the family (parents and siblings).
I am working on it. I am going to try to be more positive and optimistic. I am going to try to accomplish some of my life goals. I admit, I gave up in the past. I am going to try to actually start trying again. I really hope that I can get my life back on a track I can be proud of. Wish me luck. :)
thumbs up!
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